From the moment we know we are pregnant…we dream.
We dream about this little person growing in our bellies.
We dream about what they will look like, who’s nose will they have? Who’s hair…who’s mouth…eyes…?
We dream as our bellies grow and our ankles swell…will ‘it’ be a boy or a girl? Will they be like me? Will they play sports like their daddy?
Then the time comes for us to meet our little miracle; let’s be clear here, carrying a baby to full term without complications is a miracle, all in itself.
Then it hits us…that overwhelming feeling of love…no matter how many times you have been through labour…that love never dilutes …it’s like a truck load of love coming at you in a small bundle of baby.
Our dreaming continues…as the years roll by.
We try to guide our growing child as best we can; we gently encourage, softly suggest and hope they choose the right path.
There is no truer saying than ‘Once you become a mother, your heart walks outside your body for the rest of your life’…that is motherhood (and fatherhood) in a nutshell.
You teach…you show…you play…you hope and you dream.
Dreaming is always there…at every stage of our child’s life..we dream…we envision.
I used to do that too.
I find myself sometimes wondering what my two youngest son’s will be like when they are adults…the guilt follows so quickly that I cry; I cry for daring to think of a future, even for a second.
I scold myself for letting my mind wonder as I watch my youngest son’s laughing and playing.
My eldest son’s future is unknown. All we can be sure of is this; his syndrome is progressive and terminal. And right now there is no cure. (There’s hope CLICK HERE read the ‘pinned post’ )
By the time his younger brothers reach adulthood the likelihood of him being here with us is slim, and if by some miracle that he is here, he will be no more than a baby in mind and ability.
That freedom parents have to dream and envision is something I now envy.
What an odd thing to envy…
You never know the true value of dreaming or envisioning until you can’t…like most things in life; until it lands on your lap, you just can’t ‘get it’…
And such is life.
My son has been my teacher since the day he was born; he has opened up a whole different world for me to step into; a world I would never choose to step into, but he has shown me it’s just different …
In this different world I see and do so many things most would never dream of…
Ethan has shown me dreams don’t have to be big nor do they have to take place years in the future…
I can still dream…just a little smaller …