We attend a lot of appointments with Ethan, about Ethan and for Ethan. As you can imagine, it all can become a bit of a blur. One rolls into the other and I always have trouble remembering who is who, especially when they ring for a quick chat or to organise yet another appointment. If that’s how I feel, try and imagine how Ethan must feel!
One particular appointment that sticks out is a quite recent one. We had made the two hour trip from our home to the big smoke, Dublin city, Children’s hospital Temple Street. Ethan loves the car, I thank God for that every time!!!
We finally parked and got out of our adapted car. We had parked in a disabled spot. Helping Ethan out of the car , I spotted a woman watching us. D was busy getting Ethans bag full of distractions. I smiled at her as she crossed the busy road obviously coming over to me. I didn’t recognise her.
“Thats a disabled spot” she nodded at our car. ” I know”, I smiled, I knew damn well where this was going.I had a grip on Ethan as D came around to stand beside us. He smiled and said hello. ” That’s a disabled spot, you don’t look disabled” she glared at D. ” I’m not” he shrugged his shoulders.
“I appreciate that you are trying to do the right thing here, but” I placed a now screaming Ethans hand into D’s, I gestured her to follow me, she did. I pointed at the big blue disabled badge on our windscreen,” but we have this so we can park here” I was not going to explain any more than that. She sighed , hand on her hip she stated “where’s your wheelchair, where is the disabled person,you can’t just park here , badge or no badge” I watched her as she became louder and more annoyed,apparently at me.
D had had enough,Ethan was now screaming and kicking repeating nooooo over and over.”We haven’t time for this lady. here” D handed her a card,” there’s our car details if you would like to make a complaint” She looked from him to the card and back at the card. ” Before you do that, just think about this, we are outside a children’s hospital, with a child who clearly mustn’t be well, we have the disabled badge, why should we explain any more than that to you, and not every disability requires a wheelchair love” he didn’t wait for a reply or reaction, he took my hand and we walked away.
We got into the packed waiting hall, pulled a ticket and figured we had about a 40 minute wait with an already agitated Ethan.”That lady did us no favours delaying us like that ” D sighed as he loaded up Ethans DVD player. “Here take this and I will ask the staff can he be seen now, before a meltdown” I nodded as I placed Ethan and the DVD player on my lap.
A little girl was sitting in front of us. She kept turning around looking at Ethan as he was screaming with delight at Dora on the DVD. I wouldn’t dare engage her, please turn around kid, please. Suddenly Ethan jumped up, knocking the DVD player to the floor. ” NOOOOOOOOOO” “HOME NOW” he yelled as the busy waiting room went quiet. All eyes on us now. He pulled the little girl by her hair then punched the boy beside her then head butted me as I tried (in vain) to physically move him. D came running over, while I repeated “sorry” to anyone near us. He picked Ethan up as I got a kick into my eye. It stung. I was now trying not to cry as I could feel everyone looking and gawping at my poor boy, no doubt thinking he is ‘bold’.
We were shown to a quiet room away from everyone else , where we could wait for our specialist. D turned to the nurse,” This is all we need, a quiet place, please have this ready when we come, look at him” Ethan’s face was dark red and blotchy, his breathing was laboured. ” Look at my wife’s eye, this all could have been prevented if you would listen to us, Ethan cannot handle crowds or waiting rooms or people too close to him, we’ve told you this over and over. We can’t keep putting him and us through this for a 20 minute appointment” D rubbed Ethans back as Ethan kissed my eye. The nurse nodded and left the room.
Our appointment was the usual one, a specialists looking at every inch of Ethans body while trying to dodge his karate chop legs. Ethan hates doctors, and I don’t blame him one little bit. 20 minutes later, the specialist is fixing her clothes after her struggle with Ethan, while our little boy is crying and begging to go home. I hate appointments. Ethan hates appointments and D hates appointments but we have to go,there is no choice, sadly.
She looks at my eye, “waiting room?”, she smiles sympathetically at me. I nod. D gathers Ethan in his strong arms and says “Doc, we need a quiet room to wait for you”, ” I will take him to the car” Ethan happily waves goodbye over his daddys broad shoulders. ” We will do our best with a quiet place for you guys”, she smiles as I take my notebook back from here. ” Get some ice on that” she rubs my arms as I say my ‘thank you’s’, ‘sorry’s’ and ‘goodbyes’.
I make my way to our car. “Home” I smile at Ethan as I get in.” Home time” D and Ethan yell in unison~ D rubs my leg and winks, ” Good job mommy, good job”
“Ha!” I laugh pointed at my purple and black eye, ” Ah yeah, but you dodged the other foot like a pro” D laughed as he turned the engine on.