No Boys, not Today!

“Good morning mammy” your beautiful cheerful voices call out. So what if it’s 7am and one of you got up at 3am while the other one didn’t go to sleep until 2.30am.

“Let’s go out and run around and around and around and you can chase us” you gleefully suggest as the sun rises high into the sky. My back cracks as I bend down to pick up your rouge Lego.

“Can we make the play men again mammy, and then can we go to the swings and then can we play with water and then…” I got 4 hours sleep in total darling children; I am normally not one to point the finger – but it wasn’t because I was partying (long gone are those days!) no, it was because two of you decided to have a ‘restless night’ or whatever you want to call it.

“Will you help me look for something in my room please?”. Why can’t you ever ever say things like this when I am able to take full advantage of your room looking like a an advert for ‘what lies beneath which pile’ -you set the ball up and I’m not even able to swing the bat.

“Oh mammmy!!! Mammmmmeeeeeee come quick !”  There is an urgency in your little voice but my mammy senses tell me it’s not a real urgency; it’s more like “Paw Patrol” is over urgency – so I decide you can wait. I am making this pee and I am going to enjoy it. (How sad is it when your life is now about enjoying your pee in peace ?!)

I was wrong; that was not a Paw Patrol urgency , nope it was- I went to the potty and made a huge poop without wiping my bum bum urgency .

Some days I literally just can’t. Can’t deal with the poop, snot, farts, messing, burping, screaming, crying, whinging, cleaning, wiping, tidying, fighting, arguing, shouting, demanding, begging, pleading, questioning…

Today boys, is one of those days which means mammy will let you get away with blue murder as long as you are quiet– she will make the quickest easiest dinner which you will love because there will be no vegetables, oh no, there will be waffles, chicken and beans – yummie eh?

Mammy won’t turn off your TV and demand we all play a game, oh no- today mammy will even record “Paw Patrol” and forward the adverts to keep ye quiet ; she’s not gone as far as letting that pig play all day long on the TV though.

You want to play your video game all day and you’ll do it quietly in the corner – here let me put the pin in..off you go, turn the volume off and sit still for as long as you possibly can.

You want something nice — here have a biscuit , in fact have two– mammy needs another coffee.

All I want today is for you all to pretend you like each other and to just be quiet, because boys, I just can’t – not today!

Nope this isn’t an uplifting post about parenting, this is me having a day where I just bloody can’t ..I’d much rather be in bed — I’m pretty sure assuming everyone stays in their bed all night long tonight , I can ‘help’ J look for whatever he was looking for in his room and take full advantage of that situation all while cleaning the house ( ‘cos it’s a tip from my I can’t- ness of today ) while making matchstick men with the dictator while running around with and after Ethan – business as usual tomorrow boys.