Ever wonder what happens in a household when both parents are so sick that they can barely move?
Well, wonder no more!
We gave in to ‘Netflix’, we sighed right up to that by 8am,Ethan cannot handle advertisements during his programmes and we couldn’t handle Ethan. What did parents do before everything was done with a click and a laser card…I tip my sick bag to you guys!!
“You want your Easter eggs now…oh okay, J get the eggs there pet, they’re in the kitchen hidden in the red box”
“Dinners ready” – handing D the cash, as I struggled to hold down the bile rising from the pit of my stomach..”J get plates, paper ones…yeah yeah, whatever you want to drink you can have, yes J even Rock shandy”
“Here, eat and shhh” . The smell of good ‘ol Supermacs made us run to the bathroom, fighting over which one of us got to use downstairs loo. Again, what did parents do before having more than one bathroom was the norm?!
In fairness, by the fourth trip to the loo, D gave me dibs on the downstairs loo- ever the gentleman.
“Do you smell that?”my eyes barley opened, head pounding, stomach turning. “I’ll check baby if you check Ethan”, needless to say, another argument erupted,turning us into them; you know the ones; they’ll always have it worse than you no matter what! “I’ve been six times to the loo, you’ve only needed to go five times, come on D, I’m way worse” I shuddered at the thought of Ethan’s nappy.
We decided to take it in turns eventually,(when and I’m embarrassed to say), when our 10 year old son, J,reminded us we were the parents not the kids-he had a valid point.
Thank God for the blocked noses, seriously, I could do with that bit of being sick, a little more often. Changing an acrobatic baby was far more draining than cleaning a 12 year old who only wanted to kiss you.
And FYI, a toddler needs far more changing than a 12 year old who every now and then wants to use the toilet.
It was Good Friday….we needed Whiskey for our lemsips , obviously, but we had no Whiskey, and here in our lovely country not a drop of alcohol can be sold, legally. Luckily, D got the energy to put on a tracksuit pants and ask our ever obliging neighbours, who of course had Whiskey. God Bless ye- D and P!
“I’m hungry”
“Mom, I’m hungry”
“Ok pet. J, mommy needs you to be a brilliant big brother and get the kids their tea, cereal is fine. Good boy”
J,ever the opportunist, “Can I play the Wii then mom?”
“J you can do what ya like”
“Mom, can I watch…”
“Ya ya J, watch what you like pet”
“Mom, can I have chocolate cereal?”
“Yep, yep J. Do yeah”
“Mom do I have to go to bed too. It’s only 8 o’clock”
“Yes J, but you can play or read. I’ll trust you to turn off your light when you’re tired”
Bedtime came early for the kids, I’ll not lie, and I’ve no clue when J actually turned off his light, and neither of us cared.
By 9pm, the house was quiet as we finally fell back into our sick beds.
So there you have it, when both parents are sick, you need an internet connection, laser card, cash and a willing helper child who will take advantage of your inability to parent on that day.