Why do we wait until someone we love is dead before we tell them how we feel? Why don’t we just tell them when they are alive? Not when they are alive and unwell, I mean when they are alive and well.
Every time we lose someone, we all walk away,( well, I do) thinking , God, I should have told them that I loved them, I should have told them more often, I should have thanked them, I should have…
I make promises to myself, normally as I’m walking behind a casket, that I will tell those I love, that I do love them, I will thank them, I will let them know that I appreciate them…I will…
Is it really that hard to be honest? Apparently, it is.
My loveable uncle died last night. I spoke with his wife, my aunty, days before hand. I’d promised her I’d call out over the next week. I ended the phone call, reminding her to mind herself too, I told her I loved her…for the first time in my 33 years of knowing my wonderful aunt, I finally told her that I loved her. I have no idea if she heard me, she told me she would mind herself and that she and my uncle would see me next week. I had planned on telling my sick uncle I loved him too. I never got the chance to see him again, let alone talk with him.
Saturday,I will go into a room, where my wonderful, loveable uncle will be. He will be surrounded by his twelve adult children, their partners, their children and their children’s children. He will be laying in a coffin. I will go over and talk to him then. I will tell him all the things I should have told him years ago.
I will remind myself never to let this happen again. Never hide from my feelings, especially the good feelings! I will try to tell my aunty that I love her and I will try to let my cousins know,I feel their pain and that I loved their daddy too.
Rest in peace my lovely, wonderful, funny, country music loving uncle Tommy.
Xxx