I often yelled at my parents “I wish I was adopted”, especially when I was a teenager, they were so ‘unreasonable’ sometimes! My father used to yell back “You were,but they sent you back”- we would go back and forth like this for awhile,until I came to the realisation that they were not going to let me go to an unsupervised party in a boys house at age 14- unreasonable, totally!!!
I never really thought about adoption, never thought much about the effects of it either, as I had never (knowingly) knew a person who had any experience with adoption~ that was up until I was 22 years young.
I was dating D for about a week, when we were out enjoying a walk on the promenade,we were planning to watch the sun go down on Galway Bay, as I had confessed to him, in all my 22 years of living in Galway, I had never seen the sun go down over our beautiful bay.(google the song “Galway Bay”, this is a well known song all over the world!).
D was born and raised in Dublin,his parents had moved to Galway a few years before, he decided to join them, months later he met me.
We were doing that awkward questioning of each other while trying to impress,trying not to sound ‘daft’ all while excitement transformed into butterflies flapping around in your belly~I’m telling you, that’s a balancing act right there!
We talked about everything. Every thing. Together, for the first time in both our lives, we watched the sun go down on Galway bay.
We talked for hours, the waves rushed against our now cosy rocks, the bay grew dark as the stars twinkled above us. It was beautiful. The conversation turned to our families. D listened to a few of my stories, laughed and told me “One day you should write all about them, they sound crazy”. I smiled, “They are, but I am the sane one”. He laughed, “You know, I bet you know my brother”. D’s brother was my age, living in Galway for two years now,as he had school to finish, he had moved in his leaving cert year with their parents.”Nope, I doubt it” I was positive, I had never met his brother as I watched his brown eyes narrow, his masculine arms pulled me closer, he smiled and kissed the tip of my nose with his plump soft lips. I would remember his brother. “Ha, believe me, you have at least had one conversation with my brother” he laughed. “Do you know this for a fact or something?” He pulled me closer,”Ah yeah, the whole of Galway knows my brother”. “Well, does he look like you, is he built like you?” I asked as he laughed loudly. “Huh?” I smiled, feeling like a joke just flew right above my head. “Sorry, sorry,”he smiled,” We were both adopted, so no, no he looks nothing like me”. “Ohh”. I didn’t know what I should say, I was actually really unsure of how to react. He stood up, held his hand out to help me up. “I…I, adopted, wow” I stammered. “Ah yeah, it’s no big deal Ger” he smiled, “You look like you don’t know what to say” he poked fun at me. “Sorry. I just” I was embarrassed now. “You’ve a million questions.I’ve always known, my parents are the best people in the world, I am happy and very lucky, to be honest” He bent down making eye contact with me, “Any other questions?”. I shook my head. “And yeah,” he pulled my into his chest, “You do know my brother!” he laughed.
I didn’t really think much about D being adopted after I met his parents and ‘officially’ met his brother. They were just like any other family, I don’t really even know what I was expecting, to be totally honest. Years later, we would revisit D’s adoption, it would take us on a trip to Roscommon, Athlone and Dublin ending in a trip to America. It would indeed, be an experience for us all, especially D, but that is definitely another blog!
As for D’s brother, well, D was 100% right, I had met him on many occasions. I had known him, I had spent drunken nights in his company talking absolute shite and he was a very good friend to my friends boyfriend (at the time I met D). I had labelled him a ‘Dublin twat’. I had brought him a pint to get rid of him, I had been rude to him,got annoyed at him and told him plenty of times what I thought of him.
You can all imagine my face the day I met him and his parents as I stood in D’s parents house, dressed in my Sunday best!
My friends and D had a great laugh at my expense later that night as we sat around enjoying a Summer barbecue~”Damn Galway is small” I laughed, hoping “I” (D’s brother) wasn’t telling his parents what a bitch I had been to him on those occasions.