” Money is short, Times are hard; here’s you fucking Christmas card:
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse.
Mom at the whorehouse,dad smoking grass, I just settled down with a nice piece of ass.
When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter.
When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the fucker had fell.
He filled all the stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother -the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a bitch tore the chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, “piss on you all and have a hell of a night.” 🙂
Hope ye giggled!