There are so many, many different ways in which ‘we’ parent. I’ve never been one to read parenting books, or ‘look’ into different ways of parenting, it never actually occurred to me when I first became a mammy to do or read any of these things. I simply did my best.
Today I read an article about a mother who decided to cancel Christmas. Like me, she has three boys, all believe in Santa. Her reasons for doing this are; they are spoilt, ungrateful and she told them if they didn’t behave better, that they would have to write to Santa explaining why they won’t be receiving gifts this year.
Now, this article actually made me cry.
I do not cry.
Why did I cry? I’ve been thinking about this all day.
Her boys are spoiled and ungrateful, by her own admission – who made them this way? Did they indulge in everything they screamed for or is it more likely mammy and daddy gave into their demands a little too often?
They did not heed their mother or fathers warning regarding their behaviours- again by her own admission. Why didn’t they? Could it be that mammy and daddy have threatened consequences so often but never gone through with it?
My boys act out, far more often then I like to admit. My eldest hits, punches and screams, my middle guy lies almost as often as he speaks and my youngest has taken to trying his best to say the ‘f’ word, and I’ve a fair idea who is responsible for that little gem.
For every action or unacceptable behaviour they do, I must give them a consequence. My eldest has no understanding, but I still tell him ’ no,no, be nice’ and he will stop the behaviour (40%) of the time. My middle has to do extra math, sentences, chores whichever punishment fits the crime, he has ADHD and he is catching on to this consequence lark, the lying has dramatically reduced. Baby D, gets no attention whatsoever when he tries to say the ‘f’ word and as of today, he hasn’t tried it once.
I guess my point is, this woman has three healthy boys who can understand consequence, quiet easily if they are shown from a young age. I have two boys with special needs and a baby who know, Mom says no, it’s no. Now, I am no expert, I don’t claim to be, but after reading her article, I can’t help but think maybe just maybe this mammy should write Santa a letter herself explaining why her kids are spoiled and ungrateful and maybe she shouldn’t get any gifts this Christmas?
It just seems totally unfair and a little too far, to do this to three little boys at Christmas time, a time where she should show them Christmas is not all about presents but about love, understanding, forgiveness and second chances!
Anyway, that was on my mind all day !