I am not fit. My idea of exercise is chasing Ethan. When Ethan is at school I chase baby D. Chasing baby D is what I imagine chasing a drunk man walking on a tight rope would be like, you don’t want to make a chasing game out of it,but you’d like them to slow down enough to steady themselves.Whereas chasing Ethan,is like getting a huge kick directly up your ass, because suddenly,you’re up and you’re unsure how the little devil ran away so fast. When Ethan and the baby are home together…well, let’s just say, I don’t sit for long.
So, D and I decided we should take up a sport together. I use the word “sport” loosely, it’s not demanding, it doesn’t require strict training and it is fun. I have never enjoyed any type of sport, but this, this I really do enjoy. To be honest, it is a great escape for an hour on a Tuesday evening.
Dodgeball– It is quite simple- Dodge, Duck, Dive, Dip and Dodge! I’m sure you’ve seen the movie and no, no we have never had wrenches thrown at us…yet!
I’m not as bad as I thought I would be, mainly thanks to the boys.
Ethan helps me with my ducking skills; he slaps and punches at me, while I quickly clean, wash, and change him up to three or four times a day. Baby D also helps by throwing random toys at me, especially when he sees Ethan is testing my dodging skills. Ethan is a master of devilment, he will stick out his leg, when my hands are full, while baby D is throwing blocks at me, they’ve yet to trip and hit me at the same time- yes I am proud of that!
My diving skills are kept up to date between Ethan grabbing at baby D, tripping baby D and pushing baby D, I quickly dive in to break (most) falls, my elbows and knees are grazed pretty good. My dipping skills are used daily, mainly thanks to baby D and his love for “I DO IT”, when it comes to feeding time.
I’m crap at throwing the ball; my aim is off, to say the least and I throw like a toddler. I need power behind my throw and I need to actually hit the intended target, not the wall, not the leg of a player who I wasn’t even looking at!
So, queue my middle son, J. I explained my dilemma to my darling 10 year old.
“You can play with me mom, but I’m not standing still.” He has ADHD, chances of him standing still, were never high, in my expectations.
It’s been roughly 4 months since we began playing dodgeball. I’ve learned that J can actually stand still, for at least 5 minutes at a time, while he continually encourages me to hit him with the ball, “You won’t hurt me mom, hit me, look I’m standing still”
Bless him, he thinks I’m afraid I’ll hurt him…
**No child was hurt during these ‘activities’.However, mommy did learn she can’t hit for shit…still.