Lucy’s back

“Mammy” I ignored him. “MAMMMMMMIEEEEEE”

I sighed.

I had just cleared my desk, plumped up the cushions and sat on my new chair with the hopes that some words would dance on the blank iPad screen. The IPad screen and I haven’t been getting on too well lately. With the kids at home and me having to be an all round entertainer for far longer than I am used to, my writing has suffered. I looked at my husband. “Will you please go up to him”

He nodded and quietly went up to our three year old darling, who lately demands that we both go up and say goodnight, seconds after he has been put to bed.“He really wants you. He reckons it’s private” D smiled. “Private?” I scoffed as I got up off my chair.

“Ok. What’s up now Dee Dee?” I sat on his bed while he kicked his blanket off. “Mammy. This is very sayweious and private. “ he looked to his left then to his right, where I was sitting. “I am ready” he said. I smirked. This kid has always had a great imagination. “Now” he began. “Lucy is here and wants to be friends with you” he looked to his left and smiled.



My heart jumped as I remembered instantly who Lucy was.

I swallowed . Hard.

I tried not to scream Lucy, would you ever just F**k off Lucy. “Ok, well I don’t know Lucy. Would she like to say hi to me ?” I was hoping that this was the point where my little darling would laugh in my face.

He didn’t. “Lucy has tried mammy, but you won’t look at her even when she’s in your room”. What the holy Fuck. Fuck you Lucy. Oh my …I got up off his bed , unsure of what to say next. “Mammy, what’s wrong?” He stretched his hand to meet mine. “Nothing” I lied. P**s off Lucy ya weirdo

“Will you tell me a story before I go to sleep?” He patted his bed.

“Sure” I sat down.

I looked to his left and asked “Dee, why did you tell daddy that you had something private to tell me?” “Oh, that was Lucy’s idea” he yawned. “Umm ..ohhh.. ammm …Dee, who is Lucy?” I rubbed his leg.

“Oh Lucy is the Lucy that you wouldn’t let in , ‘member?” I nodded. “She’s the one who wanted to take me away, but I told her nope way. Now she just wants to stay ,can she mammy?”

“No” I answered without thinking. I was frightened and tried to remember that according to the world and her sister children have great imaginations. “Ah mammy. I knew you’d say that” he rubbed his eyes.

“No. Lucy doesn’t belong here. She needs to…find the light or follow the light or something” I quietly added …”And piss off” He nodded.

Here’s what’s important to remember not only do kids have great imaginations but they also hear everything we say. Everything.“Ok mammy.” He smiled. “Is she still here?” I whispered. I will not lie , I was absolutely petrified. “Oh no mammy. Can I have my story now?”

I read him his story.

Feeling like I was taking part in a horror movie, I left his room while he told me he loved me past the sun. Downstairs I retold the story to my husband who laughed far too much especially at my ‘follow the light’ comment. A week had passed and there was no mention of Lucy. We packed our car up and headed off to Offaly to the beautiful ( and accessible ) Birr Castle at the end of the Lucy free week.

While D and I set up the picnic we let our two youngest boys run off onto the ‘pillow’ (a trampoline which looks like a pillow surrounded by sand) in the middle of the playground.

We were talking to Ethan and each other when suddenly I could hear my darling three year old roaring at some random child “Why don’t you follow the light. Just follow it “ I said a quick prayer but it didn’t help …”and piss off can’t ya”

Quickly we called our boys for the picnic. We are used to people staring at us, so when there were a few ‘tutts’ from the onlookers we acted like we had not heard a bad word from our darling’s mouth. Sometimes; that is the best defence; pretend you simply didn’t notice the behaviour.

Yes, I know that’s not advice you’d read anywhere else but it’s this mammys advice which can get you out of a lot of awkward situations, similar to the one I have just described.

We sat down to eat. “Dee, don’t ever tell anyone to follow the light or to p**s off ” I warned as he ate his sandwich.


I cut him off. “Look, I know mammy said that, but that was to Lucy, who really isn’t a person” I knew how I sounded as D and J both stifled their giggles with one sharp look from me.

“Yes but..but mammy it was Lucy ” his eyes widened ,”See, now mammy. It was Lucy I was talking to”. I looked at my husband , who calmly placed his wrap down , wiped his mouth and said “ Dee Dee, it is time now that Lucy goes. Do you think she would like the woods here? We can leave her here and…”

J piped up “And then she can be someone else’s nightmare” “Yeah, she said she would not like that daddy . But maybe if we stopped at ‘Smiths’ on the way home, she could be left there.

We would have to find the new ‘Sweetie’ for me of course …and “ Dee continued to grab at the strawberries while Ethan said “Hiya” , “Bye” to everyone who passed. D and I began to laugh. We were and still are unsure if our toddler is playing us in order to get his small hands on the newest member of ‘Paw Patrol’ or if Lucy was really in Birr with us. However, we decided to take no chances.

We spent the day walking the grounds of Birr Castle looking for the perfect spot to dump Lucy.

Three weeks have gone by and there has been no mention of Lucy ; however there has been a lot of talk about ‘Sweetie’ and where we could buy her, if we would like to consider that for our three year olds pending birthday.

Imagination or blackmail ? We still don’t know.

This was originally published over on FamilyFriendlyHQ


  1. OMG that’s so scary. It reminds me of the time not so long ago when Finlay told me there was an Alien in the bathroom and I said don’t be silly and he replied with no there is, It carried me in there like a baby (how he describes a cradle hold!!)…..EEEK!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *