The future is something many parents worry about; regardless of your child’s abilities, we all worry about the future.
The future is something most parents almost dream about; we are always thinking or wondering or planning what life will be like when our children are X years old or when they are finally out of diapers or in college…
The future worries for families like mine can be very different from the usual future worries.
For us,the future must be planned over and over; we must investigate what happens when our children grow up – And that I can assure you is heartbreakingly hard.
We must ensure to the best of our ability that nothing is left to chance.
Left To Chance –
It’s something that has to be planned;it cannot be left to chance.
There’s a rush to teach them the value of money;it cannot be left to chance.
There’s a need to ensure no one takes advantage; it cannot be left to chance.
There’s an aching worry that never goes away;will he be treated well,if I were to be suddenly taken away;it cannot be left to chance.
There are plans that must be made, centers investigated for “just in case”; it cannot be left to chance.
There’s a whole other side to growing up which can fill a parent with dread yet; it cannot be left to chance.
One must imagine what could or will happen the day they become too unwell; it cannot be left to chance.
There are no college forms or worries over college fees,instead there’s a nest egg that must be saved; it cannot be left to chance.
There are decision which must be made long before they are of age; it cannot be left to chance.
There’s trust placed into agencies throughout the years,while always watching to see if they truly care; it cannot be left to chance.
There are lists of who to call and who not to bother; it cannot be left to chance.
There are unanswered questions of who will care, no matter how prepared you are; it cannot be left to chance.
Will he be ok without me?; it cannot be left to chance.
I imagine those are only some of the fears parents of children with special needs or different abilities may feel
I too, am familiar with these fears.
They are the kind of fears that sneak up on you in the dead of the night. They are the fears that force you to draw up a ‘Will’ or make a ‘plan’ for all those ‘just-in-cases’ that fly through your mind,almost on a daily basis.
My fears of the future are a little different as my son has Hunter Syndrome but nonetheless my fears of the future keep me awake too and the cycle of ‘what if’s’ can be just as relentless.
We need to start helping parents like us, help us plan a future where we know our grown up children will be understood, cared for and loved even after we pass on.
No parent should ever have to fear their child growing up.
Governments need to understand that kiddies with additional needs do grow up and with the right supports in place while they are growing up, they can lead a very full and happy life without their parents (when that time cones).
Parents spend years worrying over who will care for my child when I pass on?
This cannot be left to chance.
And, this cannot be left to the parents to carry, alone.
It’s time to start putting some funds,attention and research into adulthood services and support into aging parents fears of the future.
Again, no parent should have to fear their child growing up, but a lot of parents do.
This was originally published on Firefly