I’m not laughing…


I heard it today, again.
I have been pretending I don’t notice it, but today, today it was evident for the world to see, not only to those who know the man.
I stood in the sitting room, watching J and baby D ‘play’. J was on another level of hyperness, which I had not born witness to before, while baby D was screeching, similar to what I imagine a pig may make while giving birth to a whale.
Then it happened.
“What’s the messing for?”.Before J could even acknowledge my existence, my father began to speak. “Will you stand up, will ya. What’s the shouting and roaring for? Do you want the neighbours to hear ya? What in good feck are ya doing?” I even tutted. I TUTTED! ME! TUTTED!
J stood there. Eyes looking at me but fidgeting with his clothes. My father erupted from my mouth, once more, “Will ya stop the feckin’ fidgetin’, will ya. I’m abroad trying to make dinner and here you are! Can’t you just play quietly! Why can’t ye just get along, jayous, all you’ve to do is play! How old are you now? 9, 10?”I stood almost in shock, how had my father the power to talk through me.
“Amm, well, D and I were, were just playing mom. You need to relax, I’ll calm down.Oh,I’m 10 mom, you should know that” he titled his head, probably wondering had I finished.
I gathered my thoughts,”Just play nicer please J, you don’t want D being rough and loud. Just nice and calm.OK”. I left the room.
Dazed and a little, shocked I wondered back to my boiling potatoes…

For those of you who are unfamiliar with my dad, I have written blogs pervious to this one, about the one and only ‘Willie’.
Here are a few of his “Willie-ism’s” , as I like to call them,

“The curse of fuck down on top o’ya”
“What in the feck are ya doing”
“Can’t ye just pretend ye like each other, like the get-a-long gang”
“Is my name Vincent?”
“Will you hurry on, will ya, will ya, come on, come on…..what’s the rushing for?”
“If I get as far as ya, I’ll give ya a reason to cry, by christ”
“I’m workin’ abroad in the shed and I can hear ye”
“Ye’d break steel, by fuck”
“If there’s a panic,let it be orgainsed”

And so many, many more….

Yes folks, when irritated, my father is beginning to take over my speech….or perhaps it’s the years of taking the absolute piss out of him…either way, I’m sure he’ll be delighted with himself….”Open my mouth and I’m wrong sure”.

I guess you were right mam, mocking is catching, after all.



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