It resides inside me, waiting for any opportunity to rush through my body, pull at my heart and burn my soul…
My toddlers ‘go to’ response is to hit when he is told ‘no’.
Is it because I haven’t explained enough to him about the meltdowns he has witnessed his older brother go through?
Is it because I don’t spend enough time playing with him?
Is it because I didn’t make time today to read 100 books? I only read 76 because Ethan needed to have his legs stretched?
My middle guy who happens to have ADHD can get himself into a bit of trouble, mainly in school.
Is it because I don’t spend enough time with him?
Is it because I don’t sit and always listen to him?
Is it because I don’t make the best use of respite hours when we are fortunate enough to receive them?
Is it because he doesn’t feel special?
Is it because I haven’t explained enough or too much about Ethan?
Any of this sounding familiar to any other parent?
I know ‘mommy guilt’ is not a new concept.
Heck, every parent I have ever met has had the ‘parent guilt’ rear it’s ugly head from time to time.
When I sit with my husband and tell him of the heavy weight which knots in between my shoulder blades and runs all along my neck and back; he reminds me that guilt is part of being a parent; any type of parent.
Every now and then he comes out with ‘gems’ and this was something he said to me years ago, but it has always stuck with me…especially when I know I’ve let the guilt run through every thought, concern, action and reaction I have-
“You are enough, you are doing enough, more than enough! Don’t give so much power to that guilt, we all feel it; but you gotta remember that you, little old you, are enough”
As I sit and type this; I’m surrounded by all my boys including my husband. They are all watching ‘The Simpsons’ ; well, mostly all, the toddler is playing on the coffee table with his cars.
I can face my guilt; I see that it is a powerful emotion which I sometimes let drag me down, I let the guilt eat me up, I give it more power than it ever should have.
It easier to see what guilt can do to me while I am sitting in a (relatively) quiet sitting room with my little family.
I must, like every parent; learn how to ‘manage’ that mommy guilt, when in the throws of the ‘guilt train’.
So to you reading this; if and when that guilt creeps up and overwhelms you – let me tell you; you are not alone; you are doing enough,you are being enough, you are enough.
Take it from another mammy – guilt is inevitable, regardless of your child’s abilities. You will find plenty to feel guilty about; I guess we all just need to accept that we are enough.
This was originally published on familyfriendlyhq Here