We all have that one friend, don’t we? The one that is always going to make you laugh, purposely or not.
D and I have one such friend.
“I’m after getting a summons” he casually dropped into our otherwise, average conversation.
“A summons…as in summoned to court M?” I stared at him.
“Yep. That’s the kind. Feck it” he gulped the last of his tea.
“Go on. Tell us.” D rolled his eyes.
“Ah it’s just a misunderstanding guys, to be honest” M shrugged it off.
“Tell us. For feck sake M. You brought it up…come on” D coaxed, while I giggled.
“She’s already laughing” M nodded at me.
“Ah come on M, I need a laugh” I pleaded.
“Okay, but it really isn’t a big deal and it ain’t funny” he wiggled his index finger at me.
“Ah I had an argument with herself few weeks ago. Needed head space. So I went out for a drive… ya know…to cool down”. We both nodded.
“Well, the feckin’ piece of junk ran out of petrol. Not a sausage, had I on me. Swear ‘ta fuck. I thought, sure Peters petrol station is five seconds down the road. I’ll have to do something to get home like. Couldn’t be leaving the car on the side of the road, miles form home” he started to get animated in his story telling. M belongs on a stage. He can tell you a story in such a way that it becomes your story.
“So there I was, stranded on a country boreen…I’d to think fast lads” he tapped his temple. We both giggled. M isn’t the best ‘thinker’ even when he has plenty of time to think.
“Checked the boot and thank the Lord , there was some duct tape in it” he winked.
“Duct tape?” I snickered. “Why?” D giggled.”Why did you have Duc…” M cut him off. “D that’s another story. Can we please stick to the summons story here bud?!” he cleared his throat while D and I laughed.
“So, I did what I HAD to do… to get home. I covered me plates up an…”
“You covered your licence plates, ya mean?!” I gasped.
“Yes. Mother Teresa. I hadn’t a sausage, I told ya. Keep up” he rolled his eyes.
“I drove in. Put about 5 euro into her, and bolted. Jayous, I’ll tell ye folks, thug life, ain’t for me. I nearly shit myself…but there was a certain feeling of —hahaha fuck ya Peter, ya prick too– ya know” he laughed as we both stared at him.
“What did Peter ever do to you?” D laughed hard.
“No tick for me, but tick for the two Bridies down the road…feck him” M shrugged his slender shoulders, while we all laughed.
“Can’t say I’d blame poor Peter for not giving YOU tick, especially after robbing 5 euro of petrol” I giggled.
“Not like I’d a balaclava and a weapon like…just duct tape” M put his coat on.
“Hang on. Hang on.” D was serious now, “What’s the summons for then M?” D was confused. “Oh yeah” I added.
“Ah …well” M dropped his shoulders. “Didn’t I forget two things…one feckin’ stupid Peter got a new CCTV system in and …” he took a deep breath, zipped up his coat.
“AND..”D and I were hanging on his every word.
“And…I forgot to cover me back licence plate” M threw his arms up in the air as D and I both howled with laughter.
Thank God daily for friends like these, they sure as hell brighten up an otherwise boring Wednesday evening!
Cheers for the giggles “M”!!!!