Alien hood …

We are standing on the edge.

The wind is howling…I can feel the wind pushing and shoving us…he is quiet comfortable, standing with his arms folded across his slim chest almost laughing at his father and I .

Yes folks, we are standing on the edge of ‘Alien years’, you may refer to it as the ‘teenage years’ but from where we are balancing, it is an Alien who is smirking and grinning at us!

He stands at just under 5 feet tall; which I suspect will change over this coming ‘Summer’ (as we all know, ‘Summer’ is the loose term we use for the months June, July and August, when school is closed)

I have no experience with these alien years, despite having a fourteen year old in the house. Ethan (who is the teenager) has Hunter syndrome so his alien years consisted of demanding more cuddles and having more sensory meltdowns…all something I am well used to dealing with.
But, in the words of ‘Miley’ (not Cyrus- yes I am showing my age!) “Well Holy God” !

J who is 11 has morphed into a tall, handsome young man, full of compassion and empathy (which I 100% feel is down to being Ethans brother)..but, lately he seems to have a different personality depending on the time of day.

I used to think boys couldn’t be ‘drama’ queens. I was wrong and sexist…I have learned my lesson and stand corrected.

J can get moody…fast. I know he has a lot on his young shoulders but sometimes I can’t help but laugh at some of his arguments when asked to do a job or tidy his room, not mine or any of his brothers, his own room.

FYI – laughing or smirking can bring on more ‘drama’ or add flames to the moody smouldering fire in seconds!

When asked to sweep up the food he spilled –

Life is soooo hard mam for me as it is, can’t you just do it.

When asked to tidy his room-

Why ugghhhh why, why do you do this to me? Why?

When his younger brother, fondly known as the dictator, touches or even looks at his Lego-

I am going to grow my own vegetables outside the back and live off the land, if this continues AND I will bring my Lego…cos it’s MINE Ughh

When he is trying his hardest to do as little homework as possible-

They expect you to help mam, that’s why it’s called HOME work, they want you to learn too

When he realises I am not doing his homework

If and I mean if, I do my, I mean the homework can I then please, please, please have my DS

When the answer to anything is ‘No’-

You’re so so mean mam, why are you so mean to me? If I wasn’t your child you’d be nicer to me, I just know it. WHY MAMMMMMMMM

When he has had enough of me trying not to laugh at his ‘drama’-

That is it! I have had enough. I am soooo moving out in 7 years mam…SEVEN YEARS

These ‘conversations’ normally end with heavy feet pounding up the stairs and me being thankful I had the good sense to carpet the stairs and landing. I hear doors bang, music playing and then silence for about ten minutes.

He comes back down the stairs looking for food and smiling at me.

WTF is that about?!

I smile back and ask if he is calmer now. He nods and begins to make a sandwich. I don’t point out that his lunch wasn’t eaten again today,instead I hand him the mayonnaise and wait for him to speak. He doesn’t.

Are we friends ? I ask as I boil the kettle.

He nods and mumbles Somi, which I think is ‘sorry’ but I could be wrong.

He takes his food and disappears.

He comes back down the stairs with his plate and does his dishes. He knows this impresses me. I tell him good job, thanks for doing that and remembering to bring back the plate.

Can I go out? I’ve my watch on and I will be where I say I am and back on time, I promise mam. He hugs me and sure,I am only human and obviously being ‘played’. I agree and let him out.

Christ, I can’t help but think of my poor poor parents, having to go through this invasion 7 times; no wonder by the time my invasion came they had all the answers before I even thought of any and all ‘schemes’.

Here we stand on the edge of Alien hood and I , for one, am shitting myself…hold on tight J, mammy and daddy are going to try to get us all through this as painlessly as we can ; yes we will laugh, yes we will cry but we will do our absolute best to get you through this ..

And so a new chapter is beginning for our whole family; J, I am apologising now for the times we do get it so friggin’ wrong ; but also thanking you for helping us get through it and paving the way for the dictator and his invasion of Alien Hood …

And to my parents, I am so sorry for anything I did while I was going through my invasion …the other 6 were much worse, I am sure !


This was originally published over on Familyfriendlyhq

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