When D went away…

My week has been absolutely tiring – despite me being prepared for this week for weeks, I simply couldn’t have predicted how tired I would actually be.
To single parents – seriously, I have no idea how you guys do it…all.

Friday night I had a nightmare; I have very vivid dreams and my nightmare was as real to me then as your phone is to you right now.
I woke myself up screaming, which prompted me to check on the dictator as I was, convinced (in that moment in time) that he was floating in a bog …look, it made totally sense then.
It was 2am. I checked him and then felt the need to ensure he was really there; so I stupidly woke him up. Damn nightmare. By 3am I was ‘over’ my nightmare and scolding myself as the dictator was singing ‘A B C D’ from the top of his lungs. I know , I know, I don’t deserve any sympathy.
Finally around 4.30am I got some shut eye only to be woken by the thud thudding of Ethan’s bedroom door around 7.30am. I glanced at my husband; ah heck I’ll get up, that poor sod has a whole 14 hours of flying to do alone, on Monday morning…he had also just finished his final year exams …and so I left him in bed.
Big Mistake.
Saturday night I spent sitting in a chair with my 11 year old in A&E. If you have ever wondered what A&E looks like after a beautiful hot summers day – think Beirut with a fierce strong smell of alcohol.
My darling hubby had spent all day in A&E which meant I got the pleasure of all night. Luckily my 11 year old got a bed by 3am Sunday morning. I slept beside him in a children’s bed which is far more comfortable than a chair as long as stretching isn’t a priority.
Sunday afternoon appendicitis was diagnosed and out it came!
Monday morning my darling husband flew to San Francisco leaving me with the three boys; one at school, the other just out of an operation and the third trying to rule the children’s ward.
I had to make the decision to send J (the survivor of appendectomy) to his grandparents house in order for him to recover safely. Ethan is a devil for tripping up J and the dictator loves nothing more than a game of ‘pile up’ on his big brother; safety isn’t something my boys prioritise.
By Wednesday I was tired; but when your child has a birthday and that child is Ethan, I had no choice but to celebrate it. Ethan turned 14 and we threw a party; I had to deal with all my emotions later that evening and without D there it made that evening more difficult- but I did have amazing help and support in the form of A, a very good friend of mine.

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Ethan had no school Thursday, but of course, what better week to give Ethan a day off?!

J was healing far quicker than I expected and by Friday was standing tall again but still a tad sore; on his way to my parents home he just had to have a ‘pick-me-up’ treat by his aunties who were very happy to give him anything he ‘needed’.
Friday night was my night off. My night out and boy did I milk it. By the early hours of Saturday morning I was thinking ‘ah this probably isn’t worth it’ as I drank another cocktail. As they say , it is the thought that counts…I did think about not having that cocktail.
Saturday wasn’t too bad, until the boys came home. I spent the day counting down the hours to their bedtime and once again scolding myself for having that ‘one’ too many cocktails.
Sunday morning, my darling hubby came home.

I learned a few valuable lessons the week my husband was gone;

Don’t plan anything when you’ve kids
Cocktails are too easy to drink
Ship kids off for full day after a night out
If I ever win the lotto, A gets whatever she wants along with D’s parents and perhaps a little something to the respite ladies (who kept Ethan longer than planned when J was having his operation)
Single parents are like some sort of super parents
Being tired is a valid excuse
Writers block is real
A simple birthday party still involves cleaning the house

I am less exhausted right now but I’m still, yes still tired and trying hard not to list the amount of appointments we have coming up…I need a holiday or a whole day off.


This was originally published on FamilyFriendlyHQ

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