Oh sweet toddler of mine

My toddler turns four soon. Lately he has become a bit of an untrustworthy little sh…spy.

He is teaching me every day, that while two came before him, they were really just preparing me for him.

He is not to be trusted with markers – even after one has given him the ‘rules’.One must sit and wait for toddler to be finished his artwork before leaving the room. One must also control one’s bladder better. A two second pee could cost one a redesigned cushion.

He will use his ‘sad’ face, in the hopes that one won’t give out after he has redesigned the table, curtains, floor with said markers. One must stop using the sad face when trying to coax said toddler into doing anything from now on.

He has mastered the ‘sky’ remote. This is not a clever thing. He now knows how to record ‘his’ shows and delete mine.One must keep it in one’s pocket from now on.

He has taken to closing the bathroom door while doing his ‘business’. One has already learned to remove the key but what one still has to learn is; to double check said bathroom carefully after toddler has declared that he is ‘all doned’. One must also pay more attention to the area around the sink, toilet, bin….

He now needs a lunch to go with him to preschool/ montessori . One must remember to check lunchbox in the morning despite filling it the night before . One must also remember to check for markers in the little backpack that waits by the front door.

He wants to be a ninja. One must take this a little bit more seriously. One has found treats in aforementioned lunchbox while having said toddler sit with one all morning, as far as one can recall…

He has decided that he is a man. He wants to be a man, so he shall pee like a man. One must respect newfound manhood to a certain degree…one must check tee-shirt, pants, shoes , hands and socks after this display of pending manhood.

He can now dress himself. One should really pay more attention in the morning especially and at least check that toddler has his own clothes on…not his teddies clothes, for example.

He likes to investigate while one is trying to get oneself dressed, especially when one is in a rush. One must pay way more attention to why toddler is ever so quiet and not presume toddler is being ‘good’.

He likes nothing more than seeing what’s in mammys bathroom. One really should have stopped this at least a year ago. One should put every single item out of reach. One should not react with laughter when toddler comes out with two newly liberated sanitary towels stuck to his arms informing one that he is now ‘Batman’ with white wing arms.(Toddler will reenact this very scene a number of times to hear the laughter- one must be extremely careful as to what one laughs at in front of toddler)

He loves to be a clown. While one knows it is good to encourage toddlers hopes and dreams ; one must draw the line at mask wearing and hiding behind doors to frightening one. One must explain again and again that toddler is scaring one and that is not what clowns do. One does feel a bit of a hypocrite as one does enjoy frightening the life out of one’s husband, from time to time.

He is Spider-Man at least three times a day. This means one must be the Joker. One does not have a choice about game nor character. It is futile to try to become Robin as apparently one makes a better Joker since one cut one’s hair. One is trying really hard not to use one’s sad face …(one must remember how valid point two is, no matter how badly one would like to be Robin)

Yes, that is my life currently with my almost four year old; one is now off to one’s bed (hoping not to find the toddler hiding in there) and getting ready for another day of his toddlerhood.)

This was originally published on FamilyFriendlyHQ

 

28 comments

    1. I am counting on five being the magic number ! Although my mate thinks come Thursday (his birthday) he will just turn back…i laughed in her face ! Thanks for reading x

    1. He sure is a handful but like you say we do have some craic with him. As for the jumping …he has decided he’d like to be a clown this Halloween , I’ve watched IT recently…I don’t want him to be a clown who hides and tries to scare me!

  1. This is funny, life with pre-schoolers is just darn hard work. My son is two and a half and despite having two girls before him, we never had pen on the walls until now.. boys they are a different species entirely.

    1. I know right. I have two boys older than him, so I’m not sure it’s a boy thing for us but I think it could be a spoiled thing, ah well!!! Thanks for reading x

  2. I love how you are so honest about your experiences with your little 4 year old this is a very entertaining post, I cant wait to read more. Enjoy toddlerhood and I am sure you wouldn’t swap him for anything in the world!!

    1. Ah of course I wouldn’t, he makes me laugh nine times out of ten…the other times he makes me want to hide!!! Thanks for reading x

    1. Do you think we may have spoiled them? I’m beginning to think that’s really what I’ve done here !!!!! Since they are the last and all…. thanks for reading

  3. Awww he sounds just like my youngest was at that age… and still is mostly! He still wants to be a ninja and Spiderman is his biggest hero… it’s very funny when he tries to squeeze himself into his 3-4 years Spiderman costume 😉

  4. Your stories are so funny and he sounds like such a personality! It’s so lovely to write down all these memories of him at this age, means you can read back on them and laugh your head off at all the things he used to do!

  5. Hahah, you’re really funny. I mean, your way of telling a story,
    puts a big smile on your readers. ^_^
    And your life looks pretty full, but it’s filled with good memories that’ll make you laugh a lot when they grow up. Time flies so fast with them~

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