Threenager Alert!

I have not had this kind of experience before.

With Ethan it was different; because of his syndrome he began to regress back(we thought at the time Ethan had regressed due to a hearing impairment- we were correct but wrong about the reason for his regression) rather than change like my current dictator is doing.

With J it was different again; he seemed to skip ‘milestones’ and just suddenly be in pre-school…or maybe that’s ‘rose-tinted’ glasses plus faded memory from 9 years ago….either way I do not remember my little boys changing as my current dictator is doing (the dictator for anyone who doesn’t know is my three year old!)
Seven ways (because I really can’t write ALL of them) I can see my toddler morphing into a threenager:
#1 He now likes to debate; gone are the simple ‘ok’s’ :

“Dee Dee pick up your toys and then we can go for a walk, good boy”
“We go for walk, then tidy, otay mammy”
“No Dee. Tidy then walk”
“We go for small walk, then tidy, then more walk, deal mammy”
“No Dee. Tidy then walk”
“Ah come on mammy, tiny walk then tidy…tiny walk mammy” At this point his tiny fingers are showing me exactly how ‘tiny’ of a walk he is referring to.
“Tidy or no walk at all” I use my best mammy voice here and even throw in the ‘ol finger pointing for good measure.
“I’m tired mammy, will you help me…pwease” his big brown eyes stare up at me while he flashes those mini pearly whites.
#2 He is more vocal about the things he does not like; gone is the simple ‘yummy’ :

“Now buddy there you go” as I hand him his fresh fruit and porridge breakfast- seriously (only during the week when the other two boys are gone to school and I’ve a bit of energy aka coffee)
“What is the crap?” as he holds his banana in disgust (I did say fresh fruit not exotic!)
“Dee Dee that’s not a nice word”
“But look at it!” He offers the banana to me while scrunching up his nose.
“It’s fine, eat it” I glance at the banana, I see a slight bruise.
“Fine,I’ll eat it today but I don’t like it” he glares at me taking moments in between to investigate the bruised piece of fruit.(true to his word he has refused bruised bananas ever since)
#3 He ‘appears’ to have some good logical skills; gone is the simple mammy knows best acceptance which I did enjoy.

“I think it might be time to say bye to your ‘dummy’ Dee Dee” I was merely testing the water, he only uses the dummy at night time but I feel it might be time to well, get rid of it.
“No!!! No!!!! Why mammy why?” He wailed.
“Well, bud, you’re too big, aren’t ya. And you don’t really need it” I cuddled him.
“I’m not too big!” He sniffled.
“I think you are buddy, sure you’re a toddler now!” I softly coaxed him.
“Toddlers are not too big for the dummy!” He declared.
“How do you know that Dee Dee?” I giggled.
“‘Cos I’m a toddler and I want my dummy!” He stood hand on hips, head tilted and lips pouted.

SONY DSC
SONY DSC

#4 He needs to know everything absolutely everything; gone are the half ass simple answers.

“Why is Ethan screaming mammy why?” “What’s that mammy?” “Why is the people looking at us mammy?”“What’s that mammy?”
“Shh Dee Dee…look over there at the …” I glance around to find a distraction… “ flowers”
“Oh mammy,why what’s the name of them flowers?”
Ignoring him, while Ethan is in the middle of a meltdown (especially in public) is rather difficult, but I still try.
“Oh mammy, look! Ethan did it..look mammmy loooook! Why you crying Ethan? Mammy why is Ethan crying?” “Mammy I’m talking can you hear me mammy?” “Mammy I need to know why?”
Ethan brings us enough attention when we are out and about; I’ve never known a toddler to bring as much attention as Dee Dee does !
#5 He is aware of those around him, he demands you to hear him; gone is the simple smile and nod half ass gesture.

“Oh look at it mammy…what is that? I think she has a baby in her belly, look mammy, look!”

I never look. I did once and he was wrong, very wrong.
“Ah mammy look, look at that little toddler, little toddler , hello little toddler are you ok? I like your hat little toddler, look at his hat mammy, he is cute”
Many other parents find this adorable which it can be; but Dee has said things like this to kids who are older and much bigger than him.
“Hiya man, why are you looking at us? Man mammy that man is looking at us, hello man, can you hear me?”

Trust me, sometimes that ain’t funny!
#6 He likes to correct me; gone is the simple acceptance that mammy is always right- it was nice while it lasted…

“Ahh come here my little man” I stretch out my arms, waiting for a cuddle from my youngest, only to be met with:
“I’m not YOUR little man, I am Dee Dee, I am a toddler not a little man”
“Ok, come here my little Dee Dee” I smile waiting once more for my cuddle.
“Mammy, I said I am not YOURS, I’m me, Dee DEE only!”
Just give me a goddamn cuddle child!
#7 Nap times; gone are the sweet one full hour for myself in the middle of the mornings…
“Nap time kiddo”
“My name is Dee Dee”
“Ok,nap time Dee Dee”
“No mammy, no thanks, I’m otay”
“Dee Dee it is time for a nap and that is the end of it”
Suddenly I’m thrown into a game of catch the slippery toddler…I don’t like this game at all.
Yes my dictator is indeed changing; he is become more independent, vocal, opinionated and those bloody ‘w’ questions …he is becoming a threenager…
This should be fun! I don’t remember, but does this mean the terrible twos are coming to an end?!
I am sure many parents can relate and add some more, please feel free to do so!

This was originally published on FamilyfriendlyHQ

3 comments

  1. I can read stories about your dictator over and over! A bit ago when you posted about Lucy’s return! Damn woman, you made my blood run cold! I’ve never heard such a story out of a child as young as he was when that started! Then to bring her up again out of the blue! Have you had a Priest by the house yet? Maybe while Dee Dee goes to his grandparents for a few hours? LOL!

    Thinking of you and Ethan (and the rest of your boys)

    1. Hahaha thanks Cathy .. the blood ran cold from me too lady! Thankfully no such talk since ! Thanks for checking in – Ger

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